Urban Dictionary Hoodies

english muffin top: A far more severe muffin top where several folds of fat spills over a women's pants creating various nooks and crannies.

boyfriend bomb: When a female you are interested in casually reveals that she has a boyfriend (intentionally or otherwise).

See you later masturbator: A variation of see you later alligator

fappable: Something that is sexually desirable, or deemed high enough quality that it can be used for masturbation purposes.

jabber woke: to lecture about social injustice, while doing little to create change.

species dysphoria: a feeling that one is in the body of the wrong species

wikiot: An fool who believes all information found on Wikipedia is accurate and true.

sike: The immediately preceding statement is false and was told to mislead.

pornament: noun: a pornographic Christmas ornament.

Shamecation: A form of punishment wherein an employee fucks up beyond the reprimand of a warning and is put on a disciplinary leave of absence with or without pay.

Corn Art: A euphemistic reference to taking a massive dump. Typically the corn filled variety. But eloquently expresses any act of defecation.

mistext: A text message containing information (usually unflattering or damaging) about a third party which is sent to the individual it concerns rather than the person for whom the communication is intended.

hippie christmas: the morning after hippies or member of the 60's counter culture have made tie dyed t shirts, candles, or prayer flags

Tooth sweater: When you go for a day or so without brushing your teeth, and the texture in your mouth feels like your teeth are wearing fuzzy little sweaters.

peasantvision: Television channels you get without a cable or satellite TV subscription.

porch dog: A person who frequently attacks others in speech or writing, but who poses no intellectual threat whatsoever. The motivation of this type of person can usually be accurately construed as a desire to be obnoxious and offensive. Origin: The phrase "porch dog" is used to refer to dogs that sit on front porches and bark (vigorously and fruitlessly) at passersby, but who pose no physical threat.

Mitt Romney Money: One that has money beyond that of a normal baller yet pays less taxes than a street pharmaceutical rep or an illegal immigrant.

Gift Card Millionaire: A person who holds a significant amount of money tied up in Gift Cards, Store Credit, Groupons and other forms of vouchers.

orophilia: oral sex.

ybd: your baby daddy

Dicks out for Harambe: The act of pulling your dick out of your pants as a sign of respect for our nigga Harambe

bardcore: a spin-off of the word hardcore, used, when referring to Pornography, to refer to a movie that was made with a Shakespearean play as the original plot.

Jesus Jeans: ripped or "holy" jeans. They're so holy, they're jesus jeans!

familiated: To be humiliated in front of ones family.

low pro po: Undercover police officers. (low profile police)

hate us cause they anus: A way of saying the phrase, "Hate us cause they ain't us" with a little more elegance.

Middle-distance relationship: A middle-distance relationship, or "MDR", is when two people find themselves living with *JUST* enough distance between them that they can’t see each other as often as they'd like — shorter than the distance between Taylor Swift and Adele's vocal ranges but longer than the time it takes to master the catchy lyrics to Tay Tay’s latest chart-topper. Commonly used for a relationship with a significant other, friend, or friend's pet that lives more than 30 minutes, one bridge or a very large hill away.

Fever Texting: A panicky, flirtatious text thread usually leading to sexting. Commonly typed in a nervous fashion out of fear of getting caught.