Urban Dictionary Tees

emergency bacon: This is bacon which is hidden from normal usage such that, in the event of a bad day, a party, or a zombie apocalypse, it is readily available to save the day and improve morale. Usually this is kept in a separate freezer apart from the one in your kitchen. It can also be hidden in the main freezer using grocery bags, or by hiding down at the bottom where it is hard to reach. The end goal is that the bacon is hidden and forgotten from normal usage but, when you really need it, you remember it is there and can still have bacon. This also can lead to having to double up on grocery purchases of bacon to replenish your normal supply, plus the emergency bacon ration.

do the dash: Going high speed in a car.

Distractivated: Being actively distracted in such a way that it activates ideas that motivate or inspire.

boysplaining: Mansplaining, but more immature.

ask me out boots: Much tamer than "Fuck me boots" because the heel is shorter and less spikey. It is merely an invitation to ask me out and see how it goes. While less sexy than FMB they are much sexier than "Ignore me boots".

Dunning-Hitler effect: The tendency for countries that believe they are immune to fascism to be especially susceptible to its rise.

horngry: Hungry and Horny at the same time.

Kush Mama: Nickname for someone awesome who always comes in hot with the weedz.

Girlfriend Vibes: A type of sales technique that involves flattery and flirtation. The technique is effective at giving value and power to the salesperson's suggestions and compliments, thus resulting in a larger sale. The most extreme example of this would be an exotic dancer, making you feel like she likes you so you'll come back for another dance. It exists, however, at lesser degrees, especially at smaller, boutique-y, bougie stores.

birth my food baby: Taking a shit.

Stepdad Bod: A guy who allowed the passing of time to ravage his once great physique but eventually decided to lay off the beers and do a little bit of lifting to attract Cougars like your mom.

sound byte hoe: Anyone who only gets on tv to give a worthless opinion about a major topic just to be relevant

betrumped: Old word (approx 1600s) for swindled.

Nambia: The world's top exporter of covfefe.

virtual date: When you and someone else watch a movie together without physically being together. All you need is a laptop, and/or tablet, a phone, and a friend with the same materials. Once you have the materials just find a movie on the device you both like then call each other on the phone and watch simultaneously. Feel free to talk and comment on the movie via cell :)

thought itch: It's a thought that is on the tip of your tongue but can't remember it.

Dotard: An aging individual who has long lost the ability to make rational sense.

Cigarettiquette: "Cigarette Etiquette" The customary code of polite behaviour in society among smokers, with particular regard to cigarettes. Examples: - Offering a cigarette or lighter without being asked - Passing an ashtray to a fellow smoker - Properly extinguishing a cigarette to prevent a smouldering ashtray - Being generous with tobacco and accessories regardless of payment offers - Offering to pay when asking for a cigarette - Leaving the last cigarette for the owner of the packet - Respecting the lucky cigarette - Respecting the space of non-smokers

lap error: When your receiving a lap dance from one persons or two , and they release bodily fluid on your legs. Typically common in places like concerts, strip clubs, and house party's.

tea off: When you and a friend compete to drink as many twisted teas as possible in one sitting.

click itch: An everlasting feeling of need to start clicking, usually on social sites such as Facebook, Instagram, Google, Pinterest, etc.

yassderday: When something really great happened the day prior.

hirp: A Hiccup burp. The painful eruption of gas flowing up the esophagus, while simultaneously hiccuping.

IYKWIM: Acronym. Stands for "If you know what I mean". Mainly used in instant messaging conversations. Can also be used in conjunction with "AITYD" (and I think you do).

Lent Trap: /lɛnt træp/ noun In couples where one party is Catholic and the other is not, the unwilling subjection of the non-Catholic to the 40-day ritual of penitence known as Lent.

Cruzing: Looking for porn on Twitter. Bonus points if you get caught "liking" one of the posts and blame it on a hack, then on a staffer.

dinner reprise: A heady way to say leftovers

Gasterbation: It's when you beat the gas nossle on the tank to get all the gas out.