Urban Dictionary Tees

shelf friend: When you become an option. You are not first pick of friends. When your friend starts dating someone and you are put up on a shelf until they have no other people to hang with.

Verbal Handcuffs: When someone won't stop talking (usually about a subject you have no interest in). The talker has verbally forced you to stand there there and listen, even though you have given many clues that you have checked out. Examples: vacant stares, looking at your watch, checking your phone, answering in short one word phrases.

Gladimir Putin: 1. When Vladimir Putin smiles in a meme-worthy manner. (Name) 2. Feeling glad or smug. (Slang) Antonym: Sadimir Putin

orange russian: An Orange Russian is a cocktail made with vodka, coffee liqueur, and urine.

Unload the groceries: Deceptive way of saying you are taking a shit.

net neutrality: An idea whereby all access to the collective Internets is equal. Where no limits on different throughputs or access to services are placed.

Side Daddy: When someone has a sugar daddy and they have a side sugar daddy to get more money.

I just think it's funny how: A low key but passive aggressive way to tell someone your angry with them

sleeping condiments: Anything you sleep with or need to get to sleep. i.e.: Pillows, blankets, lingerie, teddy bears, blow up dolls, or blow up mattresses.

Living rent free: When you are always thinking about someone.

Remasculate: The opposite of emasculate. To grow one's balls back after they have been shrunken by an especially effeminate activity.

Co-Dating: When your roomie is dating someone for serious and they are around in the appartment as much as if you were dating her/him.

godshopped: The manipulation of scientific data to provide evidence for intelligence design.

Paper Phone: A cell phone that only text messages

trumpload: A very large amount. Usage is similar to shitload, except it's only used to describe a large amount of highly negative things, like nuclear waste or senate Republicans. A quantity is a trumpload if it is as large as the number of lies told by the 45th president of the United States.

Modern Day Presidential: Acting immature; having a tendency to angrily rant on Twitter. Antonym: presidential

decovfefenated: What the White House will be in January of 2021 or 2025 after President Donald J. Trump has his last cup of covfefe as POTUS.

Teeth Paste: A special form of tooth paste designed to work on multiple teeth simultaneously.

Milkshake Duck: Someone who gains sudden fame for something nice and positive, only to soon after be revealed as a deeply flawed character with terrible opinions and/or a shady past, often involving corrosive social/political ideologies, which quickly tarnishes their fame and the good will people momentarily had towards them.

when i have time: I'm never gonna do it

Bona Dude: A modern legal term, _Bona Dude_ means "in good dude" in a cross of Legal Latin and Modern English. The term stresses the entirely "good dude" nature of the person to whom it refers. A "bona dude" is sincere and earnest about being a good dude. First used by @SCOTUSblog on Twitter, 2017 June 26.

Broflake: Member of the alt-right who proudly shouts their free-speech warrior credentials but lose their minds when a fellow member is critcized.

tickets to policeman's ball: Defination: To pay off a cop. a bribe, A "Shakedown", .a solicatation for a payoff by an official, agent, officer, pretend or real. c.t.

fartoholic: Someone who is addicted to their own fart smell, and so farts as often as possible.

She Shed: The female equivalent to a Man Cave.

Milly rock: A dance a turn up dance where you wave your hands & move your body

Kushner eyes: Soulless eyes devoid of compassion, empathy, humor or basic human feeling, most often scanning the perimeter for prey.

kleptocracy: A system of government characterized by rampant corruption and misallocation of public funds.