Urban Dictionary Tees

Clean Pinch: That which occurs when you wipe after evacuating ones bowels only to find that there is no excrement on the paper.

literally: People often confuse this word with figuratively.

Post-Adolescent Idealistic Phase: The time after the pointless teen years in which a young person develops what are called "standards" and "morals." It is a time in which eyes are opened and "The Truth" suddenly becomes clear. Usually beginning when one enters college, said young person reads deep literature, searches for the meaning of life, and listens to college radio, all the while secretly becoming even more confused than when he/she was an lame 16 year old. The Post-Adolescent Idealistic Phase usually entails naive 18-20something year olds upholding hopeful, yet unrealistic morals. Often, utopian dreams can be confused for "The Truth." After the phase has ended, the young person must beware becoming highly hypocritical and/or jaded once life has slapped them around a bit.

hate hug: A hug given as an unavoidable social grace even though one or both people engaged in the hug hate each other and would not willingly hug if they were alone. Characterized by being a very fast and "going through the motions" hug with as little contact, duration, and eye contact as possible.

phoneslinger: A person that can produce their phone with lightning speed and return a text message almost instantaneously.

Piss Muting: When you piss on the side of the bowl of the toilet instead of the water to make less noise at night.

Hungs: A shortened way of saying one is hungry.

thriftster: An off-shoot (or sub-culture) of the general hipster trend, but while most contemporary hipsters attempt to buy indie flavor by frequenting Urban Outfitters or American Apparel, a "thriftster" alternatively obtains said style by frequenting thrift stores or through general use of hand-me-downs. While shopping at the Salvation Army may have been included in the original definition of a "hipster," now that mainstream commercialism has caught onto the hipster fashion trends, the term "thriftster" must be adopted to differentiate those who appreciate used clothing and the ideals that come along with it from the ever-increasing group of trendy 20 and 30-somethings who are content to buy the massed-produced version of this clothing without asking how it got to be there in the first place.

gynotician: A politician who feels more qualified than women and their doctors to make women's health care decisions. A combination of the words gynecologist and politician.

Friend surge: Adding a large number of friends or followers on social media in the hours after returning home from summer camp.

Sympathy Drunk: Someone who begins to act drunk when those around him/her are drunk but is not really intoxicated.

Like shock: When one gets many more likes/retweets/favorites on a social networking site than usual.

Masturbathe: To pleasure oneself sexually whilst washing or immersing one's body in water.

almost-quaintance: A person to whom one has at one point sent a successful social networking friends request or from whom one has accepted such request.

pizza regret: The feeling after spending a lot of money on a lot of takeout food and realising afterwards that it wasn't a good idea.

Illegal Gymagrant: A person who refuses to pay dues for a gym membership or sneaks into a gym for a workout without paying. An illegal gymagrant often convinces gym managers that they are going to "test out the gym" prior to signing up for an official membership where they have to pay.

Emotionap: Being too emotional, that eventually as a result, you fall asleep.

textretary: A person's sidekick who texts for the driver.

Drivestep: noun. Dubstep that makes for great driving music.

Turn Up: (v) getting wild or excessively crazy. Typically used in the context of a party. It is normally followed by a prepositional phrase (For the party, In that place, On that hoe) and it is often used in the past tense (turned up). "Turning up" is almost never said. As far as I can tell, it is the 2011 equivalent of what Getting Crunk was in the early 2k's and late 90's.

Nocializing: The act of being out in a social public setting (i.e. Restaurant, Cocktail Bar, Coffee shop) and only spending time on your mobile device; not the people with or around you.

lane splitting: Riding a motorcycle between two traffic lanes between cars.

Food Herp: The spreading of a craving/desire for a specific food or restaurant from person to person. Usually spread almost instantaneously after leaving someone's mouth.

Wub one out: Cover the sound of masturbation by playing loud, shitty dubstep.

navel gazing: A pejorative term used to describe someone who is preoccupied with self-reflection and the understanding of oneself; preoccupation with attempts at understanding the psychological and/or existential meaning of the self.

Porno elbow: An medical variant of the condition known as 'tennis elbow' primarily affecting the dominant arm of hyperactive males who don't play tennis.

greeting orbit: When you're with someone and run into an acquaintance of his/hers. They exchange greetings, which leads to a conversation, and you stand there smiling like a dummy wondering if you'll ever be introduced.

Nuts to Butts: adjective: used in a very crowded or tight situation.