Urban Dictionary Hoodies

precrestination: To thoroughly clean one's teeth before visiting the dentist for a teeth cleaning.

Sexting: The unauthorized, non-maritime use of sextants in our schools.

Facebook Minute: (n) an elongated and obscure period of time spent distracted on Facebook when the original intent was to merely check your messages.

Text Purgatory: The time period one waits for a response to a flirtatious text.

add to cart: 1. an Internet Era phrase used to communicate one's intent of purchasing or engaging in something. 2. colloquialism for yes

Whack it Off: Similar to "Walk it off." An appropriate response when conversing with sexually frustrated individuals who have no future mating prospects.

biological footprint: The amount of offspring you bring into this world.

ugly cry: A type of crying that can feel really good and really bad at the same time. The ugly cry can occur after a severe tragedy in one's life, or simply for no reason at all. You know you're doing the ugly cry when you lose COMPLETE CONTROL of all of the muscles in your face, start heaving and making awkward sounds (even though you are trying really hard to be silent), and start leaking fluids from every opening on your face from your hairline to your chin (yes, this includes the mouth). Without a doubt, by the time you are through with your ugly cry episode (if it was genuine) it will look as though you are a homeless person with pink eye who got punched a few times in the face and was hit my a monsoon; this is completely normal (and generally the time to call up a good friend).

Guysmaids: A gay guy's groomsman.

fuck: 1. The universally recognized "F word" 2. N. Implying complete and utter confusion 3. N. a really stupid person 4. V. To procreate 5. adj. Can be used to modify any word for more passion 6. Int. Expresses disgust 7. Int. Expresses complete suprise and joy 8. adv. Can be used to make a command more urgent

Dayturnal: The opposite of nocturnal. Informal word for whatever it is that actually describes sleeping at night and being awake during the day.

fireworks: explosives meant to annoy your neighbors.

Caffeine Window: The daily time slot in which you must have some form of caffeine otherwise you will get a headache. No amount of caffeine after this window will cure the headache. A common ailment of coffee addicts who need their morning fix before they can function properly.

tr;dl: Literally: "too rambley; didn't listen". This spoken phrase is a take off of the popular "tl;dr" (too long; didn't read). Pronounce the letters, namely "tee are. dee ell". This verbal response indicates you stopped listening as the other person was blathering on for too long and you lost interest.

Webtrovert: Someone who is a shy introvert in real life, but turns into a full-on extroverted party animal on Internet forums and social sites.

index finger discount: similar to the five finger discount in that it involves stealing/illegally obtaining items. however the index finger discount applies only to the index finger on the hand which you use your mouse for clicking and downloading illegal music, movies, etc. i.e. pirating

Bronies: The male, older fans of my little pony: friendship is magic.

Freudian Click: Sending an email to someone by mistake.

Macaroni and Sneeze: A regular for lunch at institutions such as public schools, hospitals (esp. mental), and the military/boot camp. Any kind of pasta dish consisting of ingredients/prepared by individuals you are unsure of.

engayed: The term for gay couples to become engaged or plan on becoming married.

whom alert: An alert that is called when one is trying to sound smarter than they really are. In more severe cases, a whence alert may be necessary.

curb shame: Embarrassment at waiting on the curb obediently as other pedestrians ignore the "don't walk" signal in the absence of traffic.

File That Under Who Gives a Shit: This is a reply that you give to an announcement that in inconsequential, especially when the person making the announcement thinks it's some sort of big deal, or even notable.

aarping: When an elderly person, such as your grandfather, complains incessantly about nothing.

feed the beast: to send a high-maintenance partner a text message in order to keep them sweet and avoid them getting upset that you are ignoring them. Similar to a feeding a tamagotchi, you send these texts to keep the relationship alive.

Dissociative Facebook Identity Disorder: A common disorder where a person displays multiple personalities: One in person, and one on Facebook.

cellular isolation: Occurs when a two person group is partitioned by one party’s separate conversation via phone call or text message using a cellular device.

bisexual: The ability to reach down someone's pants and be satisfied with whatever you find.