Urban Dictionary Hoodies

bathroom stalking: The act of lurking just outside the bathroom door when another person is using it, usually accompanied by some attention-seeking noise or behavior, ensuring that that person will acknowledge your presence and hurry up.

push pen anxiety: A psychological state characterized by one's excessive push-in push-out of his or her retractable pen; due to stress or boredom.

fuck you mean: A shortened form of "What the fuck do you mean?", largely used when the person using the phrase takes a comment in a negative way.

secondhander: Someone who gets their ideas, opinions and values exclusively form society and from others as opposed to getting: an idea from within oneself; a value from a personal rational process; an opinion from an experience.

Repuberty: The period in a male's life, typically between age of 27-39 when he succumbs to republican ideology. Signs of repuberty include listening to talk radio, unprompted remarks about social programs such as welfare, professing a love for rich people and low taxes, ranking of other people's patriotism levels.

fap on it: Masturbating before making any decision regarding females.

fatimals: a fat animal, generally a pet (fat + animals = fatimals)

Carnal Tunnel Syndrome: A tingling or numbness or a sharp, piercing pain shooting through the wrist as a direct result of engaging in pleasuring one's self while watching excessive porn.

Mental virginity: The general state of mind characterized by complete ignorance about sex and human reproduction.

collateral whiz: The 5% of a man's whiz missing the toilet, sprinkling over the toilet seat.

humblebrag: Subtly letting others now about how fantastic your life is while undercutting it with a bit of self-effacing humor or "woe is me" gloss.

debt ceiling chicken: A game where everyone in Congress refuses to agree on a deal to raise the debt ceiling until the last possible minute. It's like regular chicken, but instead of driving cars at each other, politicians are using the economy.

chiptease: When you buy a bag of chips thinking that it will be full of chips but when you open the bag it's barely full.

platonic relationship: When a woman officially declares a man to be in her 'friend zone'.

Microwave inflation: When the cooking time of food needs to be adjusted to account for a weaker or stronger microwave.

Gate Massage: A TSA pat-down with a "happy landing."

Boner Shock: Expressions or actions performed that causes your boner to go into "shock" or go back into the flaccid stage.

shark porn: chilling cinematic moments when hungry sharks chomp on underwater aluminum cages, filled with divers, during TV news stories and so-called documentaries

Bag Texting: When you try not to be rude texting while you are out with friends so you hide it by texting with the phone still in your bag. This is an attempt to trick people that you are with into not thinking you are rude when in fact it is so obvious when you are standing there with your bag open and your whole hand is in the bag, holding your phone, texting.

can't hug every cat: An idiomatic expression similar to "you can't have your cake and eat it too". The phrase originated from a viral youtube video in which a girl professes her love for cats but is devastated that she can't hug every cat, despite how much she wants to.

Facebook necrologist: a person who never misses a chance to post a "R.I.P. insert name" status update in Facebook as soon as any celebrity dies.

money hugger: Opposite of tree hugger. Unscrupulous, money hungry, money collecting individual or company willing to do anything and destroy anything on this planet to get their fix - more money.

Sports Cry: The Permissible act of a sports fan or athlete, usually a male, shedding a quiet tear in celebration of their team's accomplishments. Also acceptable at the end of a classic sports motion picture. Only one episode of sports crying is acceptable per situation.

good lookin' out: A phrase used to show appreciation to someone that helped you out.

fat hangover: The horrible feeling after indulging on too much food, similar to the hangover of alcohol. Fat hangovers have almost all of the same effects of regular hangovers. Fat hangovers, however, usually occur right after eating or when going to sleep.

JFC: Acronym for Jesus Fucking Christ

slide to unlock: A phrase used to describe a girl that is "easy". They are just like the iPhone, as simple as slide to unlock.

AFU: Short for "All Fucked Up". Meaning usually some thing or situation that is messed up, broken, disorganized, or failed.