Urban Dictionary Hoodies
Stay cozy while keeping it real
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Yard bomb: A pile of dog crap that isn't picked up by its owner and is instead left to be stepped in.
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digital snow day: Refers to a work day interrupted by an internet outage that effectively shuts down all productivity, especially at a .com.
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it's your birthday: A term of encouragement often used to drunkenly encourage equally intoxicated acquaintances. Rarely used on the subject of encouragement's actual birthdate. Commonly preceeded by "Go (name)" and occasionally followed by, "no it's not, go anyway" when spoken by those in the 8-13 year old age bracket (who are hopefully not drunk).
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lance armstrong: A man who can do more with one testicle than most could do with a pair.
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Old White Man: A politician or other wealthy person with influence. Called such because the vast majority of politicians and powerful people in the USA are old, white men.
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what happens in vegas: Usually followed by 'stays in Vegas' - the details events of a weekend or short amount of time a person spent out of town are suppressed. The term would usually refer to someone going by themselves or with friends for a weekend in Las Vegas, Nevada, but you could apply it to another city/town if the other person knew what you were referring to.
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ego waffles: waffles made out of ego which are consumed by narcissistic people in order to sustain a delicate ego
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derp: A simple, undefined reply when an ignorant comment or action is made. Brought to life in the South Park series, when Mr. Derp made a guest apperance at South Park Elementary as the chef for a day, followed by hitting himself in the head with a hammer and exclaiming "Derp!"
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Legitimate Rape: Rape between one man and one woman who are not married or even acquainted; the only rape sanctioned by the Republican Party.
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DTF: Abbreviation for "down to fuck"
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dfw: Down For Whatever ... as in... I totally want to hang with you and I am interested in doing anything cool. Emphasis on being psyched to chill and hang out.
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medal fatigue: Inability to stay awake during the day because one has stayed up late watching coverage of the Olympic games.
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Radar Ass: This happens when your body knows when you are getting close to home and automatically wants to expell all feces in short order
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Brozilian: Derived from the term brazilian which refers to the near-complete removal of the pubic and ass-crack hair via waxing. Refers to the analogous procedure performed on a man, usually in the hopes of receiving friction-free group anilingus at the local rest stop from mustachioed long-haul truckers.
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Shatner texting: When someone sends several 1-3 word texts to complete a sentence, thought, phrase, or anything that would take a normal person one text to send. This behavior can cause the reciever of Shatner texts to have their phones freeze because of the abundance or texts coming at once. It can also cause aggravation and annoyance because the reciever cannot read the first text because the rest of the texts are strolling in. Not to be confused with spamming. Named after William Shatner's speech patterns.
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Make it Snow: It is similar to "making it rain", except that instead of throwing dollar bills, one is so rich that they are able to throw diamonds. In effect, making it snow. Diamonds can be substituted for a large quantity of cocaine.
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dubstep: the music that is created from transformers having sex
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mines: a word that dumbasses use to mean possession.
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watch this: Something said right before a person does something amazingly stupid.
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No armed bandit: A cash machine, or even an ATM.
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english muffin top: A far more severe muffin top where several folds of fat spills over a women's pants creating various nooks and crannies.
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coffeedence: The sudden burst of confidence, focus, or creativity one experiences during or immediately following the consumption of coffee/caffeine.
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common law girlfriend: When two people have been hooking up for an extended period of time but neither will acknowledge the relationship. They like to say they are just friends but spend lots of time just the two of them and sleep together.
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Phlochte: Term coined for the Bromance between Olympic swimmers Ryan Lochte and Michael Phelps.
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super salad: A mythical dish of the best salad ever compiled, very sought after but has never been found. It is often confused at sit down resturants as an option.
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Mallard Mouth: Male version of duck face
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Snoop Lion: Snoop Dogg's reggae name, used in his first reggae song; La La La.
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the toothpaste defense: When asked about a jizz stain left on a sofa, t-shirt, towel, etc. one will often use the toothpaste defense